I love my job. It is the absolute hardest job I've ever had. About 2 weeks ago, we had to be somewhere at 9a on a weekday morning. For one day, I had to actually wake everyone up, as opposed to allowing everyone to wake on their own. I woke up while the house was still quiet, to make sure I showered, dressed appropriately in "non-mommy" wear, actually blow-dried and styled my hair and wore make-up. You know, how I looked most every day prior to having The Brownies. I then woke Daddy Brown and Big Brownie woke up in the process. I roused Little Brownie and got them dressed, barely fed and out the door we flew, so we wouldn't be late.
It was a wake-up call for me. What if I had to work outside the home? This would be our song and dance everyday. A dance that many Mom's out there are faced with everyday. We have certainly sacrificed a lot in worldly possessions and luxuries to be able to afford the ability for me to stay home. Some months are tighter than others and makes things a little more stressful. However, both Daddy Brown and I are so committed to our jobs as parents first and foremost that for as long as we can, I can stay at home and raise our babies during the day and Daddy Brown can come home to healthy, happy Brownies...most days. I know there are some Mothers that prefer to work outside the home...I always thought I would be one of them. Would I be able to fully commit to the job of being a Mom full-time? Could I let go of the professional person I had worked so hard to become?
It was definitely a struggle in the beginning. When I just had Big Brownie, I still worked full-time hours on part-time days. When I became pregnant with Little Brownie and after delivering him, I went to part-time. When I realized that I wasn't doing either job to the best of my ability, I felt like a failure. I didn't want to let anyone down. Daddy Brown helped me realize that the only people I shouldn't let down, was my family. All the rest of it, we would work out...and we did. It was the best decision we have ever made. I love the opportunity to see all the "firsts" of our Brownies. Some Mom's want to stay home, but can't for one reason or another. I have so much respect for those Mom's who get up everyday, get their families ready and out the door to school or daycare, puts in a full day of work, come home to make supper, work on homework, baths, bedtime and on top of that, keep the house clean and the laundry caught up. Wow, it still amazes me these "Super Mom's" exist.
For me, I'm happy to be a stay-at-home Mama. I'm glad to know that I have each day to teach them shapes, colors, numbers, ABC's, etc. I'm so proud to know that Daddy Brown and I can actually potty train a child. I'm happy everyday to have the ability to look at these faces everyday. Most days I think I'm not that much to look at for them, but they are the most beautiful creatures we have every created. No spreadsheet, proposal or presentation has ever measured up to the success I feel in our Brownies. I mean seriously, is there anything better than this?