Friday, October 15, 2010


I've had this post in me for a while. One that I have ran through my head and my heart over and over again. I think partly because I've been hugging and loving on my boys...all three, for the last couple of weeks for a number of reasons. We have all been sick. Most recently, Daddy Brown has pneumonia. The Brownies have been coughing and sneezing and just about anything else you can think of from fever to diarrhea. We've had milestones from birthday parties to Mother's Day Out. It's been a real eye opener for me to see my boys grow and participate in the joys and sorrows of being siblings and friends.

I still can't believe we have a 3 year old and a 2 year old...TODDLERS. Where did our babies go? I remember when Big Brownie was just a heartbeat at 7 weeks old on the ultrasound at the doctors office. Our little "Gus" as we called him in the womb. And I remember the little heartbeat of Little Brownie "Pete" at 8 weeks. The two most precious, tearful moments of seeing a heartbeat. A beat that was consistent and strong. As you may have read Little Brownies birth story by now, there will always be a special bond between us. I tried putting him on my chest in the same position as I remember him just after he was born and Daddy Brown opened my car door. Little legs so long and slinder hang below my own. Arms that wrap around my neck and words like...BIG HUG and BIG hurts.

Little Brownie is still peacefully sleeping in his crib at night. He has a projection mobile that has 3 different sound buttons that over the last few months, he has began to explore the different sounds. He also has a sound machine separately in his room that up until a few months ago, always played the steady, peaceful sounds of rainfall. Since Little Brownie has figured out he can actually push the different buttons, he has realized he has options. Out of all the options he has to choose, his choice every night is the same...the sound of a heartbeat. I've read that young babies like the sound of a heartbeat for soothing effects and remembering of their cozy, warm place inside the safety of their Mommy's womb. The sound of a heartbeat to a baby is the steady sound as he grows and before he ever understands a word or other sounds from his Mom or Dad. Could it be that Little Brownie still finds comfort and safety in hearing the sounds of a heartbeat all night long as he sleeps? I like to think so and it gives me great comfort as well. The first sign of life in the womb...a heartbeat.

1 comment:

finally five said...

i love him! this post as well as your pro-life piece... you echo so many sentiments of my heart. you are such a great mama, my friend!!