Friday, May 28, 2010

On the wagon again...

So, yes, it has been a while since I've posted. Been dealing with some internal struggles with de-cluttering my house, my mind and my body. I am an all or nothing kinda gal. I'm all in or all out. I Go Big or Go Home. I have always struggled in all the above areas without success of having a good balance. Since having the Brownies, my priorities have shifted. Shifted primarily to my boys. I don't usually give myself much time to decompress.

I fell off the workout wagon about 2 months ago. I gained all 6-8 pounds that I had lost and added 2 more. Ugh...seriously. The vicious cycle of lose and gain has reached out and got me again. I went to a 3 year old birthday party last weekend. After my friend posted pictures from the party, I saw a picture of myself that was my wake-up call once again. I think I have an image of what I look like and when I see myself in a mirror, it really isn't reality. Same thing when an anorexic person looks in the mirror and sees fat...I see fat, but I don't REALLY see it. So, when I see myself in a photograph, I usually want to gag and puke.

However, a bad photograph is great motivator and with that, I'm back on the wagon. A gentle push from Aunt Fudge hasn't hurt either. Having someone else to be a little bit accountable to helps. Someone that has the same desire to lose weight and be healthy. Not that Aunt Fudge has nearly the amount of weight to lose, nevertheless, it helps to have someone else to encourage you. Daddy Brown and all my family are a great support system as well. Daddy Brown gives out encouragement on a regular basis.

Today, my goal doesn't only entail my original goal of losing 50 pounds before the end of the year, but a short term goal. I want to run a 5K marathon. I have always wanted to run in a marathon...ALWAYS! I would ultimately like to participate in a triathlon. I am terrible at running, I am terrible at riding a bike and I am terrible at swimming. So let me just put that out there in the universe. However, there is no time like the present to get on the wagon and strive to reach some goals while I'm still young, while I can still get out there and make a change in my life. I need to do this for myself. I need to do it for my boys.

I downloaded a program from the Internet...Couch to 5K. It should take me 9 weeks to get there. I am going "ALL IN". I am registering now to participate in a local 5K run on August 21st. I am committing to 30 minutes a day, 3 days a week for 9 weeks to reach my goal. Doesn't seem like a lot when I say it out loud. However, my shins, hamstrings, knees and calf muscles tell a different story. I will chart my progress. My longer term goal is to run a local 5K in each of the following months to December. That should keep me moving in the right direction of continued health as opposed to meeting a goal and marking it off the list. I wrote a post back in February about "Exercise is not negotiable". I had forgotten that motto. I had forgotten that everyday that I don't get up and do something for myself, and exercise is for myself, I'm going to continue to look in the mirror and see the same old me. Not the me I am inside, not the me that I know I am.

I recently read a post of a gentlemen that is charting his 5K and weight loss journey. He has some very poignant and raw posts. I understand everyone of them. I'm there too. I want to encourage you to get back on the wagon. And remember...

"Where I am today, is where MY mind put me. Where I'll be tomorrow is where MY mind will put me. When I look down at myself, the only thing that causes me to look the way I do, is MY mind and MY will!" ~Billy Blanks

1 comment:

KellyRose said...

It was so good to see you today! Girl..I have to hop on the wagon when this baby is born. I haven't done anything in 3 years! My sister did the couch to 5K and went on to run many 1/2 marathons. YOU CAN DO IT!